As you may already know, last year I won this award and at the time I was totally amazed, thrilled and pretty shocked when my name was called out.
I’m now looking back at last year’s amazing event and recall a very important lesson learnt that night.
Amidst all the joy and excitement of winning Life Coach of the Year, I found myself ripping the enjoyment away by looking for what I should have done differently on the night.
Had I entered the stage from the wrong side? Had I given a poor acceptance speech when receiving the award….? I’m sure you can imagine the kinds of self-deprecating thoughts that were going round in my head!
And this was the kind of conversation I was having with myself when I had just won life coach of the year! Who’d have thought that would be the time I’d start beating myself up?!
Even though the kinds of things I was saying to myself were pretty silly really, they were knocking my confidence and enjoyment and suddenly I said to myself; “hang on right there, what are you doing?” At that point, I had to stop and laugh at myself!
Ironically, I was doing the very thing that I help clients NOT to do… And here I was, unwittingly performing one of the best examples of self sabotage ever!
The kind of self sabotage I’m talking about here is the kind that can be triggered when we have a positive experience, and especially ones that are emotionally important to us. It happens when we have a negative belief or expectation before an event, and then when our experience is positive, a conflict is created within us. To realign the two we subconsciously turn the experience into a negative one in order to fit with the original expectation.
In simple terms, this is what was happening to me on the award night…. I really, didn’t expect to ever win and was perfectly happy with this fact and simply felt very thrilled and honoured to be a finalist. So when I did win, this incongruence resulted in me dampening my sense of achievement and joy by looking for and only focusing on the little negative details. I was realigning my experience to my expectations.
Well, once I’d realised and laughed it off I was thankfully able to nip it in the bud and experience the delight of that evening and beyond. The award really has contributed to an amazing and eventful year for me and be me life coaching, and one that I’ve allowed myself to truly enjoy!
And hopefully, if you weren’t aware of this kind of self sabotage before reading this, sharing my experience of that amazing night will allow you to take control and nip any such tendencies in the bud too.
Here’s to allowing ourselves to recognise and enjoy all lovely moments in our lives. The little and the big!
Right now for me, being a finalist again is one of those!
Would you like to help me make it even better? Winning is down to votes, and I’d be so grateful if you pop along and give me yours via the below link. A big thanks!