Last night I did a talk around ‘Getting a Winning Mindset’ to a fabulous audience at the evening event arranged by the I Am Group. There were about 60 people in the room, the majority standing up throughout the entire talk, and you could literally hear a pin drop. There’s nothing like an engaged crowd! I’ve been fighting a lurgy all week and on the tube on the way home I had a throbbing headache. Despite this, I was feeling elated and energised!
I sat there, thinking about the people I’d just met and planning ahead what to write in this week’s blog. And I decided to share one of the key points on how to get a winning mindset that I shared with everyone last night.
If you read my blogs before, you’ll know I’m passionate about the power of our thoughts, not only on how we feel (which in itself is pretty important!) but also on the likely outcome of our actions. So, on whether we’re likely to ‘win’ or not!
The main obstacle to having a winning mindset for many people that I’ve met and worked with, is the fact that they are struggling with critical and self-deprecating thought patterns. To make the situation worse, they often at complete mercy of their own self talk. They have no idea how to shut themselves up (pardon the language!). Many don’t even know there’s an option to do so!
The fact is that we own our own self talk, it does not own us. So by virtue we can change thought patterns that don’t serve us. For many, this a big and important realisation – a penny drop moment. And a very empowering one in itself.
Another important and related issue, is that just because we think something, it doesn’t make that something true. Our thoughts lead to emotions and when we think thoughts like ‘she’s cheating on me’, ‘I’m doing a rubbish job’, I’ll never be as good as him’ we start to feel at least a degree of the emotions that belong together with these things being true in our lives. However, these emotions are merely based on our thoughts around these matters, and our thoughts may be very close to or very far away from the truth. They are not ‘the truth, but merely our thoughts.
So, be careful what you tell yourself because you’ll be listening. If you start feeling low, stressed or get that sinking feeling in your stomach, stop and listen to yourself. Is what you’re telling yourself helpful? Accept responsibility for your thoughts and chose a monologue that helps you feel good and confident.
View your thoughts as just that – yours and merely thoughts, not facts.
So, that’s a short snapshot of what I shared with the lovely crowd at last night’s event! And by the way, I’d really recommend the I Am Group meetings to anyone who are thinking about changing or moving on in their careers or who simply would like to meet and network with a bunch of open and friendly people.