In last week’s blog, I discussed the myths of confidence that can hold you back from allowing yourself to enjoy the confidence that otherwise would be absolutely available for you. This week I promised to share my top tip of the month on how to get started in developing greater confidence.
This top tip is all about modelling. Modelling is a skill we all have and from birth, we all learnt how to behave, what’s socially acceptable, what’s funny, naughty, dangerous, good manners and so on from the people around us. If your parents stopped at red lights, said thank you and offered their seats for the elderly, the chances are you do too.
As adults, we can use this role modelling to our advantage in a more deliberate sense. Here’s how:
- Think of a person who is confident in situations you would love to feel more confident in (it can be someone you know personally or someone famous it can be someone you know personally or someone famous).
- Watch them and list SPECIFIC details of their:
- facial expressions
- voice tonality
- how they dress
- how the interact with other
- anything else that contributes to their air of confidence
- Model yourself on him/her and mimic them. Start when you’re in company that you’re pretty comfortable with and as you get more familiar with your new behaviours, bring it to different and less well known situations.
- Take deliberate notice of:
- what it feels like
- how others react to you
- how others look at you
- how others talk to you
This may feel a little strange at first, but remember that no one else knows you’re ‘mimicking’ and it’s no different to what you did as a child. Then you may have been taught some pretty bad habits through this process as well, whilst now you’re in control and can pick and chose what works for you. Good luck!