The temperatures where I am in the north of Europe aren’t yet giving me that June feeling, but the nature is blooming and gorgeous. Now I’m just looking forward to a bit more sun and heat!
Still, being mindful of the moment and noticing what’s present rather than missing what’s not, is a big part of my life philosophy.
Peace of mind, happiness, gratitude and feeling fortunate are thankfully all things that are way more in my control than the weather!
Which brings me onto the main topic of my summer newsletter – the fact that one of the key things to having a calm and happy mind, not to mention being a nice and likeable person, is to be patient and tolerant.
Tolerance is for many, one of the most attractive personality traits.
On the face of it, this might sound quite obvious, but for many it’s surprisingly hard to actually be compassionate. Not to judge.
There are a number of reasons for this.
We judge because we’re uncomfortable with what we don’t know. With things being different.
For some, making judgements are confused with having an opinion. Or being intelligent and knowledgeable.
A third obstacle can be that tolerance can be confused with being a walk over. Someone easily influenced or ignored.
Thankfully, it’s a myth that having opinions and strong minds must equal judging, and in fact showing compassion gets us a long way further. Both professionally and personally.
Here’s the business case for a greater tolerance as I see it:
- GROW & LEARN MORE The more tolerant a person you are, the more likely it is that you discover new, interesting and fun people and opportunities.
- INFLUENCE BETTER When we really accept the difference between criticising and having an opinion, we can enjoy and learn from people around us who view the world differently to us and we allow them to enjoy and see our view points.
- REDUCE PARANOIA The less we judge, the less we’ll worry about others’ potential judgements. We stop projecting our own behaviour on everyone else!
- PREVENT AN IGNORANT IMAGE People who habitually judge can confuse this with being knowledgeable or intelligent. Those hearing the judgements soon hear it for what it is. Ignorant rather than intelligent! Not the best image so let’s not encourage it!
- ENCOURAGE CHANGE When we express a disagreement of a specific behaviour we dislike, rather than judging an entire person, we’re way more able to encourage a change in that behaviour. When using descriptive rather than judgemental language, the other person are way more likely to hear you and make the desired change.
- GREATER PEACE OF MIND The more we judge others, the more we judge ourselves!
- ACHIEVE MORE Being tolerant allows you to keep an open mind, understand others better and align your needs with theirs more efficiently. Quite the opposite to the misconception of being a walk over!
The summer months often present opportunities to be social so why not use them to practice being more open minded, tolerant and compassionate. Be the person you want to meet and not only enjoy the fact that others appreciate you and your company more but also the benefits of enjoying situations, others and yourself a lot more in the process!
Come rain or shine, happy summer to you from me!